JUST FOR YOU

iPhone

2010-05-17T01:55:00.000+09:00

...is so much fun....
I can't sleep...haha

An Old Friend

2010-05-08T22:27:00.002+09:00

An old friend of mine asked me: So, do you have a boyfriend?
That's what normal people think, to have a boyfriend because so many months has passed.
Here's what I answered: No, I don't have a boyfriend. Having no one is better, I don't have to feel sad. hahaha

life after part 2

2010-04-30T00:49:00.002+09:00

しかしみゆきは家族と友人が一番大切だからね!!
それ大前提でお話してるだけだからね!!!
みんなが健康で安全で暮らせることがなによりだからね!!!!

一人で寂しくなっちゃあダメだよ!!!!
ここでちゃんと想ってくれてる人がいるから!!

って言おうって思ってPart2書いた。
だってPart1だけみたら、なんか私ひどい人みたいじゃん、
みんなを忘れてるみたいな言い方。笑い

それだけです。おやすみ。

life after

2010-04-29T00:20:00.000+09:00

私もうあの去年の悲しい話は終わりにしたらね、
そしたらね去年よりも考え方とか、やる気とかが、元気になった。
よくさ、im better off without you　っていうじゃん。
本当にそう。　surprisingly im better off without himってかんじ。
だからいろんなことに頑張れるしね、バイトも続けられるしね。やる気がでる。

人間ってさキャリアとか大事じゃん？
キャリアに向かってがんばるとか達成感とか。
でもそれは一番じゃないよね。それは学んだ、私にとっては一番じゃない気がする。
かっこよく仕事できて、自立して、自分のものは自分で買えればそれでいいって思ってたけど、違うことがわかった。
私にとっての幸せは、一番の幸せは多分、めっちゃ大好きな人といることだと思う。大好きな人といても、困難はたくさんあるのはもちろん。一緒にいれば毎日薔薇色じゃないのもわかる。
バカみたいだけど、私は　外務専門職（海外渡航期間が長いから）受けないでって言われたら、受けないと思う。そんなかんじで一緒にいる未来を築きたいタイプ。
重いって言ったら重いけど、軽い好きなんて思わないくらい好きなんだから重くったっていいじゃんね（笑）

だけどさ、人間できることとできないことがあるように、
そういう幸せが手に入らない人もいるんだって悟った。
みんながみんなお金持ちじゃない、みんながみんな行きたい大学に入れるわけじゃない、みんながみんな夢を叶えるわけじゃない。
それとおんなじでみんながみんな、大好きな人と一緒にいられるはずがないんだよね。

でもそれを悟って受け入れたら、一番じゃなくても次に自分のしたいこと、たくさんしようって思えた。
今年の春休み前までは、一番が欲しすぎて欲しすぎて、自分のことを疎かにしてたけど、今はちゃんと見えてる。
一番は手に入らないっていう事実を受け入れたら、絶望じゃなくて、意外にも道が開けていました。

家后 song translation

2010-04-22T01:42:00.002+09:00

sung by: Hokkien Diva Jiang Hui “江蕙”, named 家后 or “Dearest Kin” by translation(copied from http://www.ahdoe.com/?p=405):

When we are old with no one else beside us,
We will sit on the couch and listen to your adventurous stories when you were young,
It doesn’t matter on what we eat and I won’t complain,
I will hold your hands tightly,
because I am your dearest kin.

【CHORUS】
I married you at my prime and followed you since then,
Seen through lots of things,
Who else can be more important than you?
I dedicate my whole life to you,
and realize that happiness is leading a cat and dog life.
When our time is up,
I’ll let you go ahead of me because…
I can’t bear to see you cry for me.

When we are old with sons and their wives,
Let’s recall how handsome you were while looking at our wedding photo if you are bored,
It doesn’t matter on what we wear and I won’t complain,
I will always put you in my heart,
because I am your dearest kin.

SONG:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwQx4A0SPgY&feature=related

When you're with me

2010-04-21T00:23:00.002+09:00

You'll hear me complain about the lack of cute guys in school.
You'll hear me shouting 『皆無皆無』in campus.
At the same time you'll hear me saying 『お、イケメンはっけーん』almost everyday.
And you'll hear me complain that the cute guy I just saw just passes by and would never be seen again because there are far too many people.
You'll hear me saying that this mammoth university(=multiversity)is the reason why I can't get to know cute guys and have fun.
And you'll hear me complaing about the lack of money in my wallet, because I simply don't know why money in my wallet tend to have wings. And of course my parents wouldn't even consider of giving me the Magic Card.
I would laugh talking nonsense, I'll laugh till my tummy hurts.
I would then again complain about why FAMICHIKI is so god damn delicious.
And I will make fun of the LOUNGERS in the campus and copy the way they speak, which tends to lead to laughing hysterically.
I then would complain about the FAMICHIKI again because it prevents me from conducting my diet, and I would complain at the same time that I hate rain when it is raining.
I also would complain that one FAMICHIKI is not enough and I would then go buy another one and then complain about the money lacking in my wallet.
I would scribble things related to world history, but I would gratefully fail FRENCH. The only phrase I know is "セ・コンビアーン、how much is this?" and I wouldn't understand if the French person told me the price because I couldn't understand numbers in French.
One subway sandwich is never enough, and I love food.
I hate it when it's cold, and I wear DOUBLE COAT when it's WINTER.
I love the atmosphere of the library, I love books, and of course I love cute guys studying in the library.
I love when a girl says " I WANNA HEAR YOU SAY D'ACCORD!" and I love when she eats FAMICHIKI with me. I love it when she write funny things in her notebook in class and I love the way she assumes that a handsome guy "Loves Himself."
And I don't even believe in god kind of thing, but I thank god for letting me know her.
I love it when she makes me laugh any time of the day, and most of all, I love her because she knows when to sit quietly by me when I'm very very upset.
When you're with me, you'll hear me talking about HIM and how he lack happiness because it is his biggest lost to ever let go of me, and on the other hand you'll hear me missing him time to time.
You'll hear me complain and complain and complain and complain.
I would talk about the future, and I have so many dreams that I wish it would come true. I want to be a diplomat, I want to work in the United Nations, I want to marry a Billionaire, I don't want to go studying abroad, I'm not going to study abroad.
I don't like to talk to people I don't trust, and I have difficulties trusting people. Although I would be friendly and smiley, but that doesn't mean I trust that person, and I actually don't 99.9999% of the time.
I don't want people to know about my personal stuff, and I don't like people barging in to my life or story.
I am good at pretending to be friendly and smiley when I'm actually not, and I don't like mixing around or hanging out. Sometimes it is okay, but that doesn't mean I trust the people around me.

It is strange that I had a break down and you were in front of me. And I was lucky that I didn't meet the wrong kind of person when I had that breakdown and spilled everything out to a person I barely knew.
I wonder why we click so much, and I wonder why I love hanging out with you so much.
I am such a troublesome person but you seem to know how to handle me well.
You know when to make me laugh and you know when to listen to my endless complaining. You know that I hate coldness and troublesome things, and you seem to know what kind of boys I actually like. I'm kind of irritating isn't it? I'm always complaining and never really do things right. I'm kind of surprise that you're still around. And I'm really happy when I think to myself that I have such a wonderful friend.

The funny thing is that I gradually love hanging out with you, because at first I thought I would HATE EVERYONE in campus.
I don't know what it would be in the future, but I just wanted you to know, that I would never think about my University days without thinking of you.
I am always the kind of person who hangs on to the past. But I know for sure, that when I graduate this place, I would always hang on to the great times we had together.

I have so many flaw and so many difficult characters to get along with, I thank you so much for getting along with me, and I am really really lucky to have known such a great person.
Thank you so much, and I hope you know who I'm talking about.

I hope

2010-04-07T01:08:00.006+09:00

you realise one day,
one day in the future,
just one day.

it might be this year,
it might be next year,
it might be when you are 28,
or it might be when you are 67,
i hope you realise what i wanted to say which you couldn't understand when you were 18 going on 19.

did you know that traveling is actually fun?
when you're in the airport, or in the plane?
in the hotel of another country?
the flowers they hang on your neck, the mango juice they serve you?
did you know any of this?

did you know how to swim?
will you ever?
do you know that grapes is worth the peeling when you get the sweet ones?
and did you know that friends are actually quite important?
and did you know that you're diligent?
and did you know that the day-one you talked to me i hated it?
and did you know you were actually a friend to me?
and did you ever consider what it would be if you're actually with me?
i'm not talking about the touchy-thingy that you (a guy) wants to do.
and i'm not talking about the i'm the prettiest girl in town so you're gonna love it kind of thing either.
it's just the closeness you get when you're with me and i'm with you,
and i bet no one's ever gonna love you as much as i did and care as much as i did.

Connected

2010-03-13T16:38:00.002+09:00

The most important thing I learned was to treat a person nicely.
Everyone is connected to everyone and by hurting one, you are hurting more than just the victim.
Everyone is connected and loved.

Maybe before we all really graduate from school-life, and finally get a real-job, I'll hop by and appear in front of you.
You'll see the me with a new look, and hopefully loving a new person.
But you'll see the same me, the one in the pink sweater, the one with the striped socks, the one with the curly hair, the one who carried the pink mirror, and the one who loved you most.
The one who said that the sky is blue when she's with you, the one who sent you to the station, the one who promised to teach you swimming, the one who said that we'll be friends forever, the one who called you in many nicknames, the one who cried for you, the one who wished happiness for you, the one who left you, the one who made you laugh and cry. The one you left, the one you hurt, the one you didn't took care of.
The girl in the pink sweater who watched you from afar because she was too shy to show that she cares for you.

Many years would pass without seeing each other, and one day the impossible might happen. The day when I wouldn't bother to call your name even when I coincidentaly see you down the road. The day when I think to myself "Isn't that him? well, never mind, I can't miss that train anyway". The day when you don't mean a thing to me.
I don't think that would happen though.

Because if you see me I see you.
I don't know how long that would be and maybe I'll never see you again this life time. I have no saying.

I'll live my life and you'll live yours.
The important thing is that we both stay healthy and find all the happiness that life can give us. May all our wishes come true.

Love, me

MARCH SEVENTH

2010-03-07T00:37:00.003+09:00

Im spending my time for myself, and only for myself, and plus the people who I care and cares for me.
It feels.....good.

What about me what about you

2010-03-07T00:13:00.004+09:00

I asked myself so many times.
What about me, what about you.
The perfect solution, the perfect beginning till the perfect end.
I can go on about how I want things to be, how I can try more, even more. And I can still fail many times and cry even more. And still care.
Most of all I can make the person laugh. It makes it harder to leave to think that the person rarely laughs.
The thing is that I always end up crying.
I worry about you without me, and I worry you not laughing.
Because I knew the ways, the minds, the likes and don'ts.
I want it all so bad.
There's so many flash of pictures in my head. And it's all so simply simply nice.

But you see, even if I can go on and on and on and on and still care, I always reach to this conclusion.
NO, I can't.

No, it's just can't.

I don't want to think of the possibilities, because, simply simply I wasn't treated right.
And 'm not saying this because it is a catch phrase or anything. But I'm really better off without you.
Surprisingly I actually am.

Good Thing

2010-02-24T15:57:00.003+09:00

The good thing is that I managed to rap it up neatly. I would love to have rapped it up nicely but that might be too much to ask. I said what wanted to and I wrapped it up by myself. You ask me if I'm okay, and I will answer "Yes, I am". You would think I'm lying because I may have lied to you a thousand times about being okay, but this time, I think I'm sure that I'm not lying.

The important thing about being okay without the future you hoped for is to just be-okay.
Anyways I have my family and friends, anyways I'm not financially troubled, and anyways I'm not hungered to death.
You just have to not ask for more.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I certainly have grown old.
I'm fatter, I look tired, and my body is tired all the time.
Since last spring when I graduated from High School, I certainly grew older.
I look older, tired and I have not much energy.

But I learned something after this experience.
I think I began to learn something that is most important in life.
To treasure a person. Be nice and kind, patience, tenderness, politeness, and caring for another person other than yourself. Watching upon someone near and far, and being there when someone needs your help. All these kind of things.
The opposite of me showed me in a very soft way, how much a person can do for another. And I didn't actually realised that until I saw that person sitting down in the corner of the classroom in a very sad face.

I want to think of myself for a while.
I want to pay more attention to myself.
I definitely have to get rid of the TUMMY and slender it.
And I definitely have to get my GRADES back.
And I definitely have to EARN money.
I want to be kind to myself.
I have to do what is good for me.
Reflections in the mirror told me that I haven't been taking care of myself for quite a sometime.
I hope I can do my best.

こだわる理由

2010-02-08T00:22:00.007+09:00

I don't want your new e-mail address.
I'll still keep the old ones though.
I don't even want to bother erasing the new one.
I'll just leave it till it reaches the bottom and disappear. Disappearing naturally.
Go to hellってかんじ。
hellが存在するって信じてるわけでもないけど、慣用句的にgo to hellって感じ。

It's not even a conversation.
It's the same thing as:
Me:"What time is it now?"
He:"I love that car!"
WTH???!!EXCUSE-MOI???
But the real conversation was the worse version of the above of course.

I'm seriously wondering about his:
1.eye-sight
2.brain level
3.skill of conversations
4.typing skills
5.does he have a HEART?

And....
I'm seriously wondering about my:
1.brain level
2.heart that has broken into powder
3.future
4.heart that still hopes something
5.heart that doesn't see anything happy coming along

Can't EVERYTHING disappear from me ALL NATURALLY,
BUT stays and hurts him every little bit all his life?

I wish he gets so hurt and so shocked and so regretful and so hurt.
The worst thing is that I'm not even trying to pretend to feel like this.

He:"Ouch....ouch...ouch..."
Me:"Ha..ha..hahahaha"

Spring Break

2010-02-06T15:49:00.009+09:00

It's almost spring. It's still cold, but it's almost spring.
Oh, it has been hard. You said we'd stay friends and now you're a totally different person. I think it's you who forgot.
You forgot that someone actually cares about you, and someone actually wants you to be happy and healthy. You forget things and you think that I moved on, which I didn't. You were caught up with beautiful girls and now you're caught up with your own misery.
I'm sorry I didn't let you know, but I was just trying not to bother you.
It was the best way for us being friends isn't it? You were the one who said we're friends. Not me.
And now you go on as if we're not friends and what am I suppose to do? I haven't told you what I wanted to tell you.
What are you going to do if I'm almost dying or moving to Brazil or Paris or Istanbul? What are you going to do? Ignore?
You think that I have a boyfriend and you think that I am totally enjoying my "excuse-me-I'm-just-pretending-to-be-happy-campus-life". You have to know that without you I'm not. I am, but it's not right. It's never right.

I just have to tell you before you go on and become a stranger.
I really really liked you. Though now, I'm not so sure.

But I'm still worrying for you, and I'm really wishing you all the good things life can give you. I hope you get the best of everything. I was the best so maybe the second best when it comes to girls, but other than that, I hope you get the best.
I hope your family can live safely and happily, and I hope you do great in school, and job interviews. I hope you make your dreams come true. I still remember it and I know you do too.
I hope you do safely on the roads and I hope you don't cry alone.
I hope you don't get hurt, and even if you do, I hope you will get well soon.
I hope you don't forget that people do care about you, and I hope you don't forget that we were good friends and we actually had fun.
No one can hurt you and if anyone does, you must remember to be strong.
Don't ride your bike too fast, and never drive with speed no matter how upset you are. Take care of people who care about you and try not to let them go just because you don't see them everyday. You must see the good things in people and not just the good things they do to you because you see them all the time.
People leads separate lives but sometimes you have to have each other. It's always okay to call up an old friend.
You were never meant to be alone and you were never alone.
I told you before, I will always be there for you.

Even if I found prince charming and have a family in the future you would always be special to me.
You made my sky blue, remember?
I will still always be there for you no matter what.
Don't try to be a bad guy, you can't be one.
You're just not sure of everything.
I told you, I'll never break a promise, and that I really liked you.
And I meant it.

You were really special. I wouldn't be the person I am now if I didn't watch you from afar. You might think I just like you because you're tall and many girls in campus thinks you're cute. I like you for that reason too, but I like you more. I like you more than you think and more than you heard me saying.

There's so many things I can say and so many things I can write about.
But I can't keep on going like this.
I have a life to live too.
I have to move on, I have to live my life.
I really wish happiness for you that sometimes I forget wishing and trying to find one for myself. I found out that recently. And I didn't like it.
I have to move on, I have to cheer up, I have to be strong and I have to try hard.
I have to.
There's just no point if you're going to be stranger.
It's not my loss, it's yours.
And I don't regret anything, but you will.
Because you didn't treasure something that would help you a lot along the way; a person who actually cares for you.
Dear dear you're very nice and I hope you realise one day.
That trying to hide yourself from the world doesn't help you at all unless you bring the special ones with you.
Dear dear I love you and I hope you realise one day.
That when I said I love you to someone, it means that I love you.

END OF FRESHMAN YEAR

2010-02-03T01:02:00.002+09:00

I'm done with the first year in University.
Come to think of it, I was so desperate to be in this University. It was almost a dream. A dream came true. And I'm happy it did.
I'm not mostly happy because I passed.
I'm happy because I got what I wanted after wishing for it so hard.
"Dreams come true" is a lie, but "SOME dreams do come true" is TRUE.

I was never the best student in University, and even though I was so enthusiastic to be an intellectual student,I failed being that.
I never really went to clubs and bars, and I was planing to work hard so that I could shop till I drop, but I didn't work hard either. I was so lazy.

But I realized that I should treasure my family more than anything, and treasure my friends and my health and the environment I am living in.

I love my family and friends and I thank them all the time.
I hope I could show them more. I'm sure they'll except it.

My freshman year was okay.
But there was something missing.
And I'm not talking about cute boys and hot guys.
They were THERE, haha.

The missing things is that I lack something.
I do lack something, and I know it but still lack it.

How am I supposed to live without you. What a beautiful song.

RAW PORK

2010-02-03T00:37:00.003+09:00

I ate raw pork, and I'm not talking about just a slice but a whole lots of it.
I though I was gonna die but I am still alive after 12 hours of raw pork in my tummy.
I even called the doctor and cried on the phone, they told me to call them again if I feel something is wrong with me.
I don't know, I guess I'm still okay, and I hope I'll stay okay.

I ate raw pork because I thought it was RAW TUNA (SASHIMI).

I realized that if I died today, I'll regret something very important that I haven't done to someone.

I think I've been nice to my family and friends, and I can't thank enough for what they did for me, but at least I was nice to them, and the most important of all I expressed my love to them.

But the worst thing was that I didn't express my love for someone that I have almost loved for 2 years since High School, (and I know for some people 2 years is kind of short but anyway),and I was so sad I started to cry.

I tried to call that person but I couldn't because I was afraid that the person might be on the train or maybe at school or at work and didn't pick up the phone.
The last thing I want to be is a stalker, and I only allow myself to call up the person once in every 3 to6 months. Is that stalkeristic?

I don't want to bother the person or let the person hate me, and that's why I reserve my expression all this time. And I planned to reserve this whole thing forever.

But when I think of it, I shouldn't be reserving things on that person because it might bring that person happiness when I decide to tell.
The person might be missing something in life that is meant to be so brilliant.
The person might be having a lonely spring break and feeling "why am i alone""where is the person who would understand me".

I am right here and I have always been right here.
My friends and family knows that I have always been there missing and loving him.
He is the one who is not aware of the fact that happiness is just one phone call or one e-mail away.
He has the right to know and choose whether he wants to be happy with me or stay miserably alone.
Can't he see that no one else could care about him more than his good old friend?
Nah, he can't.
All he sees is Pretty Girls that is surrounding him every single day in the campus.
But I can't give up like that,
I tried to move on and basically failed all the time.

He let go but I was the one who walked away.
I'm giving him another chance.
The second one and the last one.
Because even if I could give all my chances to him forever and ever, I have my life to live too and I have to be realistic at some point.
The only last chance for him.

Take it or leave it.
I just can't be JUST FRIENDS.
You're out of your mind.
I can see you want to hold me tight when saying goodbye.
I know I want to.
Geeezzzzzzzzzz
Stop making things complicated.
Well, it was me all along making things complicated.
Geeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzsssss
It's all simple now.
We could make this work.
Can't we....?

あと一カ月!!

2010-01-09T00:54:00.003+09:00

あと一カ月で大学一年生終わるね;;
早くね??!!
春休みたのしみだね。

2010あけましておめでとう

2010-01-02T18:35:00.003+09:00

あけましておめでとう☆
あけました！おめでたいね！
またみんなで健康に安全にいこうねー！

今年はよりハッピーな土屋をお届けしたいと思っております。
↑これ一番の抱負。

留学まだ免除おりてないし、単位来ないのあるし、更に来なそうなのもあるし、不安なことも年始早々多いけれど、しかも貯金をしてみたいな、とも思うし、いろいろあるけれど・・・・

留学の面接をして、結果を待ち。
後期も残り1月だけだから、一ヶ月間授業の出席を全部取り。
バイトを頑張り貯金する。
そうすれば不安解消!

学校がんばらないとな、不安。2010、一月はちゃんとしましょう!!!

お正月ずっとテレビ見てる・笑い
昨日ショッピングした。
なんで腹11分目まで食べないと気が済まないのだろう、私。

櫻井んちで食べたおいしいごはんが口から消えない。また食べたいな。

わお☆

あ、そーいや、宝くじ外れた。
また買えばいいさ☆←よりハッピーな土屋。笑い

じゃね♪

2009年12月29日

2009-12-29T21:16:00.002+09:00

2009なんだかんだ嫌よ嫌よとか言ってたけど、
周りにいる家族と友達が健康で安全に暮らせたってことを改めて実感! hey~!

これ以上の贅沢はないっしょ!!yeah~!
本当に!!
みんなで健康で安全に暮らせたことに感謝します!!thanxxxx!!

2010はどんな年になるかわからないけど、みんなで健康で安全に暮らせれば幸せです。whooo!!

来年の抱負：
①お金のピンチを減らす。
②痩せる
③思いやりをもつ
④自分のことを棚にあげない
⑤大学のことをちゃんとする
⑥留学免除ももらう
⑦人を大切にする

とかだね!
イエーイ!!
あと2日で終わりだねー!

おつおつおつかれさまさま！
来年もよろよろしくくしくね♪

I hope everyone has a safe and healthy new year!!!

Merry Christmas 2009

2009-12-24T19:26:00.004+09:00

You didn't turn out to be jerk.
You're a nice person, and I like that.

You are innocent and kind.

You don't lie (i guess), and you don't get angry at all.

But you left me there all alone.

I know you didn't intend to hurt me at all. I can hear it from your voice.

I know you're not trying to be mean.

And I know you don't want to make me cry.

But I know you don't know that you're hurting someone out there.

I know you're a nice person, and I like that.

But I began to realize.

Although you are the only person who can make my sky so blue,

you're just not capable of realizing anything about me.

It's high time I find someone else.

Even if that person doesn't make my sky so blue, I guess he would be much more better than you.

iron

2009-12-19T00:59:00.002+09:00

you're funny too
and i miss you

but i don't think you're the same person anymore

you're funny too
and i miss you

you're not funny anymore (maybe)
but i am

2009-12-18T00:43:00.004+09:00

どおして４人で会えないのだろう・・・？
さＳ
みＭ
しＡ
いＹ

だけど画期的アイディア。一月に会う!!
身は各自清めなきゃな；笑い
さーみーしーいー

去年体育て爆笑しすぎて、腕立てかなんか「そこの４人！」って怒られてやらされたよね。爆笑だったわ。
あばいの『エビ』もう一回体育館でみたいな・・・

うちらなんだかんだすごく頑張ったと思う！
全力でがんばったと、振り返ってみて確信した！
あれは「だるい、さむい、ねむい、むり」とか言いながら、実はめちゃ濃くがんばってたよ、うちら。
偉い。
あのときの自分たちに向って「えらいぞ！！君たちは今輝いている！！」って言いにいきたい・笑い

４人で旅行行きたいな・・・
年末ジャンボ宝くじ、３億円あたったら、君たちをどこにでも連れて行ってあげよう。わはは☆

2009とは

2009-12-16T23:14:00.003+09:00

2009年
12月16日ですな。

そろそろ身を清める時期になりました。
『身を清める』とは何かというと、12月31日に（なるべく夕方にね、ほら、夜はテレビとか見るじゃん、ご飯たべたり）、シャワーを浴びることです。
ただ単に浴びてはいけないよ。洗い流すのです。一年の汚れを。
嫌なこととか、変えたいこととか、失敗をすべて洗い流すのを想像しながらシャワーを浴びることです。
これは、いいですよ。
心機一転にもってこいだね。去年SMAYで爆笑したなー。
「女子高生4人、水を浴びて死ぬ」とか言って。新聞の見出し言って笑ってた。
身を清めるのは別に冷水じゃなくていいんだよ；真冬に冷水死んじまうよ；もしくは風邪をひく。普通に40度とかでいいんだよ。それで充分流せるのさ。

そんなこんなで12月中旬と言ったら、そろそろ今年のまとめって思うよね。
別に新年になったからって何も変わらないけど、なんかまとめたくなる；特に部屋ね。物出して、ふいて、整理しておく。いらないもの捨てる、とかさ。
これやってくうちに懐かしいもの発見したりして、うるっとしたりするんだよね。iPODかけながら整理するのいいね。

経済の単位落とした。赤点。もーしらん、行かない。
統計難しすぎ。どうしよう。
レポート明日まで2000字【英語】、なにについて書きたいのか不明。冷戦をとりあげてみたものの、冷戦とか暗記でいじゃん、年号やら人物やら。大学はアウトプットが大事らしいよ。どーでもいー。インプット時間かかるけど、アウトプットもやだね。両方やだね。

朝寒い。ついつい二度寝とかじゃないもんね、「もーいーやー」って寝る。ひさーん。

大学さー一緒にいてペース崩されないならいいけどね、崩されるどころか、掻き乱される時なんて、オーマイーゴッド。話してて、「あれ、わたしってだれ？」って思った日なんて最悪ー。ってたまに思うだけです。

どうしよう、愚痴が止まらない。笑い
2009年最も発した言葉「めんどくさーい」「むーりー」どっちだろう・・?
あ「だーるー」もあった。

なんでこんな子になってしまったんだ!
あんなに明るくて元気な子だったのに!

あと物欲が止まらないわりに金銭は不足。
食欲は止まらないし、体の面積は増える。

きっと欲しがりなんだなー。
自分の今もってるものを精いっぱい大切にしてればそんな愚痴ばっかり言わないんだろうね。
私去年2009の自分の目標たてたはずなんだよねー。なんだったっけ。今度調べよ。
今調べたいけど、2000字冷戦やらなきゃいけないから、また今度。

2010の目標なににしよう。
「現状に満足する」とか「欲しがらない」とか「必要以上に求めない」とかの方がいいよな。
これで2010の目標を「何事も全力疾走で!!!」とかにしたらギャグだな・笑い
うける。ちょっと笑ってしまった。無理だろ。
2010の目標「がんばらない」とかよいね。笑い
ひーさーんー。
2009一言であらわすと「ひーさーん」かもね。
ああ、でも世界には、周りにはもっと悲しくて不幸で、何も持っていなくて、傷ついている人がいるのに、どうして私はこんなに自分のことしか考えないのだろう。

ここで一つ感謝。

お父さん、毎日働いてくれてありがとう。ごはんも宿も学費もありがとう。定期代もありがとう。あと、まるちゃんのハッピーセット全種類そろえてくれて。あと、おいしいお寿司屋さんとか、あと、旅行代!そーいや、借りたまんま。あと、受験料。ありがとう。他にもいろいろありがとう。あと、あの変なくまさんの時計のキーホルダーありがとう。

お母さん。料理おいしいよ。あと、楽しい話とか、ありがとう。あと、受験直前、毎日泣きながら愚痴ってたみみを無理させない感じで励ましてくれてありがとう。３Ｃ会の帰り、突然泣き出した時一緒に泣いてたの、マジ泣けた。あと部屋に天蓋つけてくれてありがとう。あとドレス、無断で買ってきてかなりびびって、若干「は」って思ったけど、気持ち嬉しかった。

きむら、君は今年・・・・だったけど、君が本当はどんな子か私がよくわかってるよ!つらい時もいっぱいあるけど、話聞いてあげるくらいはできるし、一緒に考えたりもできるから。去年は粗末に扱ってごめんよ。人間として失敗だったね。ごめんね。木曜に一緒に帰れるのすごい嬉しいよ。バイト行きたくなくなるけどね、楽しいから。君とはケンタッキーの思い出が、わかってるよ、あれはデートでは絶対食べないようにする、安心してくれ。笑い

すずきー、美女カレンダーに君を入れ忘れてごめんよ；あせったよ；あの時は。すずきと一緒にわーきゃーするの好きだったよ。すずきのロマンスめっちゃ楽しみにしてるから毎回。モテ女め。きむらと悪口言ってやる。早く一緒にムーランみような!あと、君はバイトよくがんばるよね。みゆきは定職につけないから、すごく輝いて見えます。

さーちゃん!!さーちゃんは私を動かしてくれたね!動いたね、私、さーちゃんの話聞いた後とか。私はさーちゃんほどはすっぱりできないから悩みどころだな。一緒に泣いたな。メールの縦打ちの日。あれは悲惨な夜だった。泣いたなー。さくらいのいない人生なんてやだよ、私も。作戦Ｄいざというときにはよろしくね。さーちゃんと一緒にホームで「劇」やったことも、踊ったことも、飲んだことも、忘れないぜ。

りーほーりーほー。メール楽しいね。うちら。パソからメールも、スカイプも。スカイプ時間全部総合したらすごいことになるんじゃないか。君とはよく似てるよね私。考えとか。てかまつ毛うそつくなし、まっ、わかってたけど。笑
あと結構場所行ったよね、西船から表参道まで。りほが習志野のホームでうるっとしたの忘れないよ。これからもお互いを励ましていこう。きっとうちらが悪いんじゃなくて、メンズが悪いんだよ・ばくしょー

さやか!メール連続の嵐、ありがとう。受け止めてくれて。さやかは優しいから怒らないよね。私すぐ怒る。笑
さやかのチャリいつも貸してくれてありがとうね。いろいろと変わったから、マックで会ったりもうできないね。それは寂しいな。あと、ふたりでグラッチェ行った時「私もいっぱい写真とりたい。」って言って泣いた時、君の目がうるんだことは見逃さなかったぜ。ごめんね。

みいこ、いつも楽しかったね！写真の嵐！早く二人でぷり撮りたいよ！みいこに幸せが舞い降りろ！お泊りもしたし、バイトも一緒にしたねー！いつも笑顔のみいこ元気が出ます！あとメールでいろいろ助けて頂いてありがとう！みいこはいつも信じるいいこだったね！見習う！あと夏休み、いろいろ話したね。うちの前の川でチャリで話したときなんて涙したね。笑。来年の夏は笑おうな!!!

Maybe.

2009-12-10T22:42:00.003+09:00

Maybe I can trust you.
Maybe I can try to trust you.
It comes with alot of risks. You can't even imagine.
But I'm willing to take it, I guess.
It's because you're too nice to easily let go.
It's not like if I give up I wouldn't be crying.
Even if I gave up, I still would be crying.
Then why not just hang on?
It's better to cry and still have a slight chance than cry and have none.

Geez, I'm not done with my essay, I'm not done with my X'mas shopping.
God, there's so many things to do.
I wish I could just fly away to a beautiful island.
There we could be just fine........x

One day

2009-12-09T23:56:00.004+09:00

When I look at the pictures I took, it seems strange that we don't see each everyday anymore. We're on a different track now. We have different friends now and we each have our own busy schedule.
But don't you know how nice it is to see a friend.
Showing a person that you still care and remember?

Some people forget their friend, and the fact that people actually do care for each other. Too caught up in their own busy life.
Can't you see you're wasting your life?
You're totally missing something.

One day you're gonna see yourself standing in a boring hotel, hand in hand with a sweet-face girl. You're thinking you're gonna have the happiest life all laid ahead.
But I wish she turns out to be a bitch.
I wish you'll regret being with her.

But most of all, I wish you all the happiness in this whole wide world.
And I wish that she'll love you with all her heart.
And I wish she'll treat you right.
And I wish you'll live happily ever after.

I'm sorry to be such a bitch.
I think you made the right decision.
You're too good for me.

But you see I'm wishing all the happiness in this world　for you, and I hope someone is wishing it for me too.

SMILE

2009-12-06T16:20:00.003+09:00

You're good at faking kindness.
You're good at faking smiles.
You're just so good that sometimes I want to believe it's true.
But I'm good at looking past through you.
And I'm good at knowing what you're thinking.
I know you so much better than that.
You should know that by now but you don't.
Because you're so caught up with your lies and fake smiles and beautiful girls.
You're trying to be a good person.
You're trying to be nice to me.
But everymorning when I wake up, I could tell.
You're not having a good morning too.

2009 December

2009-12-04T13:14:00.002+09:00

Don't lie to me and say sweet things because that's not what I want.
I want you and if you can't give me that, you better just tell me the truth:
You don't want to be my friend.

Don't worry about me because I can handle the truth.
You've hurt me already by faking a smile, the worst thing you could have done.

It's not me who typed the words above...
Don't worry I'm fine.

YIPPY!!!!

2009-12-02T22:46:00.007+09:00

I can stay in Japan!!!YEAH!!
I'm so glad!!
私日本にいられる!!!

I won't have to spend my money for staying abroad.
I don't have to go through so many troublesome paper work.
And I don't have to say good bye to all the people and places I love so much.

Can you imagine? A year in England, all alone??
I'll be sick. I'll be repeating and repeating the song "HOME" by WESTLIFE everyday.

⇒http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMM3yWEUwcE

Can you imagine?
The girl who hated living in Japan so much grew up to be like that?

There might be greater things to see.
But I just couldn't leave this place.

This would not be my only chance to go out to the world, so I'm not upset that I have to remain in Japan.
I will always have CNN, New York Times, TIME, ECONOMIST, FORBES, all around me. GLOBALIZATION anyone??!! hahaha
I can achieve my dream here.
I can find my place in the world with the people I love.

Just as long as he doesn't let me down...everything would be just fine....

That's just not me

2009-11-06T01:00:00.003+09:00

I'm back to square one.
I'm back to my old self.

It was fun and exciting.
It felt like I was H-A-P-P-Y again.

Reading it over and over again, watching out in the crowd.

So what. That's just not me.
I can't be that. That's just not me.

I am a chicken who is meant to be like this forever.
I mean it's all clear by now who is the lucky kid and who isn't, right?
Up down up down,
look i'm alright already,
this time it might be real,
this is real,
no it's not
no I can't
i'm back again
sad-sad-sad
why-why-why
come on it's the same thing
i'm used to it
i am
really
i'm fine
i'm fine

I'm not being a brat.
I'm used to it by now.
Come on, it's been 19 years.
Anyone would get used to it.

美女カレンダー

2009-10-26T01:22:00.004+09:00

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

美女カレンダー

2009-10-26T01:21:00.000+09:00

美女カレンダー

2009-10-26T01:20:00.002+09:00

美女カレンダー

2009-10-26T01:18:00.001+09:00

美女カレンダー

2009-10-26T01:16:00.003+09:00

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

2009 October　とか早くね??!　もう十月終わりそう・・・。

2009-10-19T01:12:00.003+09:00

去年懐かしいな～って思いながら、バイトをまた新たに探しています。
結局私には塾講しか残らなかった・・・。
ま、全然いいけどね!

TOEFL iBTも英検も終わったことだし、あとは留学の手続きを完了させるのみ。
それが終わったらバイトに専念できると思いきや、中間試験があるのだな。
なんてことだ。
統計も経済も意味不明～勉強しなきゃヤバイな。

なんだか早い一年だったな。
夏休みの2ヶ月間、【バイト】と【友達との遊び】と【泣いてた】ことしか印象に残ってない。
なんてあっという間。十代最後の夏休みが、終わってしまった・・・・。
こうやって月日が過ぎるのだと思うと80になった時に後悔しそうで怖いけど、
よくよく考えると、私自分が今できることを一生懸命しようとしてるわけだから、後悔しないような気がする。

わからないけど、今できる限り頑張ればいいんだよね!そんな無理する必要とか無いじゃん!イエイ!

A Present

2009-09-29T23:09:00.005+09:00

I'm not going to be lazy this semester:

①英検
②Part time jobs
③TOEIC
④School Grades
⑤Seriously starting to think about my Year-Abroad.

I know, I'm a SLEEPY and LAZY person.
But I have to do what I can do now.
WHAT I CAN DO NOW.

It sounds easy, but it isn't.
Maybe because I'm just not a good person.
But all I can do is try my very best.

I'll do my school work, and I'll read a lot.
I'll even work a lot.
I have to.
That's all I can do now.
I have to do what I can do now.

There is a thing that I would love to do.
But I can't do it now.
It isn't the right time.
Sometimes I think that there is no RIGHT TIME for a thing you really want to do.
However, most of the time I really feel like it is not the right time to do it.
I promised myself that I will do it next year. And I'm really looking forward to it.
It hurts sometimes not being able to do what I want to do. But when I think of how bitter-sweet it would be, it makes me smile.
It's boring sometimes living day by day(I mean, who loves to work? Or take the train so early in the morning?).
Although we all know that living day by day is actually the greatest thing in life.

I'm not sure how I would still feel about the thing I really want to do next year.
But I do have a present.
A very lovely present.
It's a thank-you for making my sky so blue.
And it's me saying "i hope your sky would be blue too...."

something to be happy

2009-09-10T02:02:00.003+09:00

When something happens, it could change how you feel about life.
Even the little things.

I am a very lazy person.
I hate to work, I hate to wake up early, I hate to do the dishes, and I hate to be sad.

There are so many things to complain about in life.
All these months, I have been complaining.

My parents have been nice to me. Letting me come home almost 12 at night, letting me stay over at my friends place, giving me the opportunity to go to an expensive university, and even buying me things I want, and giving me money when I go travelling.

And still, that was not enough.

I wanted more clothes, I complained to myself "NO MONEY", I complained to myself "SO TROUBLESOME".
I complained to my friends "I wish I could go out whenever I want till whenever I want."

I just can't be satisfied with what I have.

I have a part-time job I'm going to quit.
I have a new job that I went to interview but haven't go the call from the shop.
I have a phone which breaks down sometimes.
I have a broken heart which is white now because it didn't break into pieces but into powder.

I want a new wallet.
I want a fluffy hat.
I want more bag.
I want more boots.
I want more clothes.
Hey, I want that jacket too.

I want more money,
I don't want to wake up at 7.
I don't want to work in a cafe anymore.
I don't want to
I don't want to
I want to
I want to
I want that
I want this

I have so many things to complain.
Because it is countable.
It is easier to say it because it is little.
Less compared to what I should be thankful for.
I know it.

We all know.
We all know that we are lucky.
I know that I'm lucky.
I thank my mom, my dad, my family, my friends, the owner who employed me, the money and food i have access to.

I have been selfish for a long time.

I cannot promise you that from tomorrow onwards I would be a Saint.
I cannot promise you that from tomorrow onwards I wouldn't complain.
I just can't because I would break it.

But I would just want you to know that
I appreciate it and that I'm sorry to only think of myself.

Something good happened to me today.
I got a good mark for my TOEFL test.
And all because of this, I realized again once more, I still have a reason to be thankful for.

鈴木

2009-09-10T01:45:00.002+09:00

鈴木とこの間うちで書いたあの将来の予想図は本当に良いと思う。
現実にあんなことが起こったら本当にうれしいと思う。

予想図は私が本当に［そういう風になって欲しい］ようには書いてない。
そんなことを予想図に書くにはめっそうもない。おそろしい。そんなこと書けなかった。

そしてなぜかトルコ人も登場しない。あまりにもあまりにも非現実的すぎて。

まだ高校にいた頃（確か高1か高2か）に鈴木の家で書いた予想図は、もうすでに予想が違ってる。
この間書いた予想図はそもそも登場人物が違ってる。
あの時とは人が変わってたり、人が増えたり。

だってあの時はまだSMAYは存在してなかったし、

まみこが「韓国人」、さやかが「忘れた頃に現れる」、みいちゃんが「おしゃれでちゃらい」、と形容した人はいなくなったわけだし。

でもあの頃よりは今の方が好き。
だってあの時はまずSMAYがいなかったしさ、大学の友達って呼べる友達や、ドトールで知り合った友達もいなかったわけだしね。

毎日だるいとか言うけど、本当は私人生明るくみてるのわかるっしょ?
口癖が「めんどくせー」「金ねー」、冬になると「さみー」もプラスされて、
そんなこんなだけど、
なんか今日いいことあった!!
　
そう!実は今日いいことがあったのだ!!
だからちょっとハッピーなのだ。

この日記らしきパソコン上のみゆきんの小言にもハッピーなことがあったのだ!!
ね、ちょっと嬉しくなるっしょ？笑い

My friends

2009-09-02T03:31:00.002+09:00

Not sleeping yet, 3:31am.
haha
I'm living in the US. hahah

Tomorrow I'll be flying to Taiwan with Riho and Kimiko.
Those two beautiful girls.
All of my friends are beautiful, and nice. And they are kind and thoughtful.

It's strange.
When everything seems like it's over and all I can look forward to is marrying a Turkey millionaire, they come and pick me up.

It is really rare to find such good friends to be with you. It really is. It must be really rare because many people don't believe in friendship.
I guess I was just simply lucky.

There are so many things to be dull about, but considering the fact that I had the greatest friends, maybe I just used up all my luck on them. haha

なんか私がよく言う「さすが私の人生」っていう皮肉って、実は親友たちが美人すぎて、いい人すぎるから、私自分の人生の運を使い果たしたんじゃないかって思うよ。全くもう、君たちは。まじ高い!笑い
だから大切にするし、みんなも自分のこと大切にしてね!!

大学中に行きたいところリスト（重複可）：
１、韓国
２、台湾
３、アメリカ
４、フランス
５、ドイツ
６、ポーランド（アウシュビッツ収容所）
７、トルコ
８、エジプト
９、奈良
10、億万長者の腕の中

絶対叶える!バイトがんばる!もっと長時間働かないとね!バイト変える!←また?！笑い

みいちゃんシンガポール楽しかったね♪台湾も楽しんでくる!
仔仔に会いたい❤

トルコ人パート２

2009-08-24T00:35:00.001+09:00

欲しい物追加：
CLINIQUE一式

ご

2009-08-23T02:33:00.009+09:00

めん
まじ私ケンタッキー大好きだかんね。うますぎでしょあのチキン。去年とかまじ何ちきってたんだ・・・（－＿－（

てか私夏休み9月27日までだよ・・・あと一カ月以上もある・・・。
しかも春休み2月6日～3月31日まである・・・・。
一体・・・もう唖然だよね・・・ラクすぎ・・・❤だが、学費は無駄じゃね?!っていう疑問も。
まじ長期休暇金貯めて旅行しよ!結局マネーがものをいう世界、結局トルコ人・・・笑

週１無理とか言い訳～そこ我慢して長期休暇があるじゃん、ってゆーね。結局手近なものを人は選ぶのか。まじ人間不信、不眠、不健全な人間になってしまいそうだわ～
今も2：52amだしね。はは　今朝7：00amに起きたのに、まじ不眠ってやつ

一年の夏だから去年のうっぷんを晴らすために遊びまくりって決めたから、遊びまくるけど、
一年の春～はちゃんと目標決めて勉強とか、資格とかの準備しないとね。

じゃないと無駄になってしまう。せっかくの社会人になる前の存分の時間が。
海外旅行いっぱいいき（←めちゃ重要!!!←バイト頑張らねば!!!）、車の免許、フランス語の習得、資格の勉強やらやら。

私ね、泣きながらでも、不眠ながらでも、やるときはやる子だから大丈夫だよ、そのポテンシャル潜在能力はあるらしい（ウインク）
涙で長文見えなくても読み進めるような子だからきっと大丈夫。

まじ馬鹿だよ、馬鹿。
horse deer だし。

リッチなトルコ人

2009-08-23T01:00:00.004+09:00

夢が叶う～

①Samantha Thavasa Petit Choiceのあの黒い財布が手に入る
②あのめちゃふわふわな帽子が手に入る
③Violet Hangerのあのこの間欲しいって思った鞄が手に入る

↑今一番欲しいものリストが完全に自分のものになる。
↓そして

④世界中旅行できる
⑤靴、鞄、服、買い放題
⑥格式高いレストランにいつもいける
⑦いつでも送り迎えあり
⑧なんも家事しなくてすむ、スーパーにさえもいかなくてすむ
⑨ちやほやされる
⑩家族に贅沢させてあげる
⑪友人達とパラダイス旅行しまくる、無人島（従業員付き）買う
⑫恵まれない子供たちに学校を建て、無償で義務教育6年を提供する
⑬資金だけ旦那にもらって自分の事業を展開する。なんか旦那の金だけ使うのも気が引けるし。
⑭中東の難民の医療支援（まずは身近な国から）
⑮トルコのストリート・チルドレンを保護する
⑯結婚式よりも友人との旅行に資金を費やしたい。ダイヤより友人の旅費確保。
⑰SMAYで店開く←（⑬につながる）
⑱iPhoneを買う
⑲バイトしなくて済む
⑳心おきなく悲しみから旅立てる
...etc.....etc...

ああ～幸せになれそうだわな、そりゃあ。
本当に？
そのトルコ人がめちゃ優しかったら幸せでしょう。（いけめんであるのは当然。だってトルコ人だもん❤）
今すぐyes,i do.と答えたい。
てか若い奥さんとか超ちやほやされんのかね・わら

[さやかみほきみこりほきむらすずきやなぎさわゆいあやこうちの]
みんなは超超VIPだかんな!!!!!
私はセレブになっても絶対にみんなを忘れないよ・・・涙
てか大塚愛の『恋愛写真』聞きながら、これ打ってたら泣けてきた!!
切ね～

普通に就職活動して、大学卒業して、普通にOLして、妥協して結婚して、子供生まれて、育児に追われて、おばさんになっていくのかい?私?　

それとも、奇跡的に国家公務員試験に受かって外交官になって世界に羽ばたき、活躍しながら、何十人ともプレイしてるのに、結局一人なのかい?　その時また沙耶香は泣いてくれるだろうか。

それかめっちゃめっちゃ超超好きな人と一緒になれてたりして。
はは。一番無いわ。そんなことが起こったら嬉し泣きしちゃうわ。

やっぱりトルコ人か・・・。留学先トルコに変えようか。

またしけた話になってる私・・はは・・まじねくら。

Summer

2009-08-18T02:05:00.003+09:00

Ever thought why you are spending the time without doing anything?
That you're wasting your life just blankingly passing through the days, and realize only a year later that it was too late to do anything?

I'm not blankingly passing through the time.
I'm aware of the time passing by changing the most important things for me.

But what can I do else?
Except having fun with my friends, taking care of my family and work part-time jobs.

Translate a song? Yeah, right. As if someone needs translation now.
Study? Oh, no.
Excersize. Maybe.
Sleep? I can't sleep, I'm sick.
Eat? Good one.

You see?
So don't ask why I have so many YOU TUBE videos and Facebook pictures.
Because I have nothing to do else, than have fun around.

Don't worry, I do not P-L-A-Y anymore.
I'm a good girl.
It's a waste being a good girl when there are no rewards at all.

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

You're funny too and i miss you

2009-08-18T01:47:00.006+09:00

The tea we drank, the leaves we saw.
The comment you made on that High School boy.
The life you planned, the way you stand.

Do you still remeber that song?
The one I once translated for :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC04ZZploBE

You could have been like the guy in the song.
Because I'm sure everyone is going to envy you walking through with me.

夏休み

2009-08-15T20:20:00.003+09:00

去年は勉強して、Hannah Montana見て、インド行って、たま～に学校行った。
予備校帰りによく雷が鳴ってて怖かった覚えがある!あとインド行った!心機一転して、明るく新学期に登場♪と思いきや、そこから始まるもろもろ…

そして、今年は遊びに行き、バイトに行き、買い物をし、寝ずに朝まで電話し…Hannah Montanaを見、これからシンガポールと台湾行く♪♪
夏を満喫しているのです!

夏休みもあと☆5週間☆
あっという間だろうな…
でも去年と同様に、来年思い出してもキュンって懐かしくなれば良い夏だって言えるよね!!

そりゃあ朝起きた瞬間に落ち込む日もあるし、次の日目が辛い程泣いた日もあるさ、、、
だがさ、HOWDOIGOONにならないように、上向きに生きてかなきゃな!!　そんな気がするんだ!

いつかlead backしたとしてもさ、今は時期じゃないんだって思えればいいんだし

いろいろ自分が考え方を変えればさ、少しは気持ち変わるんじゃないかと本当に薄々だけど気付いてきた

しけた話にとらないでくれよ♪
☆サマーホリデーエンジョイワッショイだかんな☆

So many things

2009-08-03T23:50:00.003+09:00

You said that you like you shirts ironed and that your mom would only iron it for you sometimes.
You calculate the time to get on the train.
You ride your bicycle far away to get a workbook and got lost on the way.
You hate movie theaters and Disney land.
You like winter and you like red.
You liked my school shoes.
You liked my socks.
You liked my hair and you said i'm funny.

I should have tried even much more because so many things I hate you for.

You're funny too and i miss you.

Yippy!!!

2009-07-22T21:37:00.008+09:00

Yippy!!!
Summer's here!!!

Promises I'm making for the summer:
1. I would not break Sayaka heart by breaking other people's heart
2. I would have fun every second of the day
3. I would not study
4. I would work hard and save money
5. I would sleep in as late as I want
6. I would stay up late as late as I want
7. I would have many days staying with my computer watching stuff on You Tube
8. I would not waste my time because I'm in my last teen
9. I would not hide my feelings because it is useless and it doesn't bring me any happiness
10. I wold stay pretty and happy

Ten promises for the summmmmeeeerrr!!!!!
Wahahaha Wahahaha

And Of Course
11. More You Tube videos of me!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

Im YOUNG & BEAUTIFUL

2009-07-18T22:57:00.006+09:00

I realized that I'm young and i'm beautiful.
I'm not gonna waste my life being devastated all through my 19 years old.
I just can't.

In the near future, there might be another chance to be together or maybe not.
But it is clear that it is not for now.

I deserve to be happy and so does the other person.
We deserve to be happy in our own way and that doesn't mean that we dislike each other.

Everyone has thier own right to be happy.
I can't be jealous if the other person becomes happier than me. Everyone has the right to be happy, and everyone deserves it.

It took a long long time for me to realize this, and it took too much tears to reach this state of mind.
It was never easy, but i certainly learned to not only think of myself as the only person who wants to be happy in this life.

Being unselfish is hard, but when you come to the point that you can see things clear, you'll find yourself more relaxed and ready for the future.

I'm more relaxed now and i'm able to look around my surroundings.
I'm so gonna enjoy SUMMER with MYSELF and MY FRIENDS all through it!!

Wish me all the good luck you can give, and I'll promise I won't lose sight of my state of mind right now.
I'll try my very best.

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

I miss you friends........

2009-07-13T04:26:00.003+09:00

Do you miss me too...??

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

HOWDOIGOON

2009-07-13T04:21:00.003+09:00

IM USED TO IT BY NOW

The ups and the downs
the turning and crying.
I've been through it
tooooo many many times.

But you see friends.
You were always there.
And everytime I fall
in to that Full Circle,
you're always right there,
just a phone call away.

haha I made a poem. haha So artistic!!
詩をつくってみた（笑）うける。てか泣ける。

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

HOWDOIGOONAGAIN

2009-07-06T21:51:00.003+09:00

HOWDOIGOONAGAIN

是非教えて欲しいもん。

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

Enjoying and Having Fun!!

2009-06-28T13:20:00.007+09:00

I'm having so much fun everyday.
It's a surprise for me that a person can have so much fun after what happen before.
But it's true. I am having fun everyday.
I came back at 2am yesterday. haha...See how much fun I'm having??

Everything is going just fine. And as everyone knows, nothing lasts forever, so I am not sure how long this peaceful moments would last, but I just hope it will stay for quite a long while.

Summer's coming. I love summer.
So many plans on the way and so many things to look forward too.
See how positive I became??
ポジティブになったでしょ？（笑）

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

with RIHO and KIMIKO

2009-05-30T01:08:00.009+09:00

That's us in our last year of High School. During lunch in our school hallway.

This is me in my pajamas and my father's Japanese cotton jacket that I use to wear during winter. I took this picture around 5 am after finishing my studies. It was a stressful month because all the entrance examinations begins in February. I remember I took this picture in January.

These are the pictures from my School Festival when we were in High school.

It was very fun. We are all from different classes (we were only in the same class the first year of High School ), but we met in my class and talked all the way after the 1st-day of the festival was over.

The best part of being in the same school with your best friends is that they are just two or three classes away, and that you can eat lunch with them, and you can walk home from school together, take the same train together, and go to either Starbucks or MacDonald any time you want after school.

Now we're all far apart......But thank god for cell phones. We're e-mailing each other EVERYDAY!!!!!

Today we went to LAQUA in SUIDOUBASHI station. It's an amusement park with shopping malls and restaurants. We didn't played the rides, we just had dinner.

Since graduation on March 7th we haven't gathered as a threesome. I miss those days when I always ran into their classrooms, giggle, and then leave.

Every morning I would run to each of their classrooms to say Good morning, and tell them about what happened yesterday.

I miss those days in that old boring station. It was so easy to find them in the school.

Now we're all far apart. It's kind of sad, but that doesn't change anything. Because I know them too well to not think of them. Sweet right? haha... I'm good at melting people's heart. haha...

Can you believe it? We're already University students. We first met when we just entered High School. We were only 15. And this year we're 19.

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

2009-05-30T00:41:00.006+09:00

On a weekday in my room.

In Tsudanuma station with my High School Girl friends. We met up and had dinner. On May 24th.

My favorite snack. It's supposed to be a balance food, something like a diet food, but I love to eat it because it taste nice. I used to eat this during my University Entrance examination days. I always bought this after every exams I took. Those were hard days and I don't want to do it over again, but I am very happy that at that time I tried my best. Although I cried everyday, it's all good memory now.

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

IMDOINGFINE

2009-05-30T00:10:00.011+09:00

It's surprising how things turned out. Very surprised.

If I told myself when I had just turned 15 what happened to me during the past 3 years, I would just laugh and say "NO WAY HAHAHA".

You won't know what will happen in the future, good or bad. The most important thing is to try your very best. Then hopefully, you will never regret what you have done looking back on it. That's what I thought.

１５の時の自分に言っても信じてもらえないだろうけど、この三年間いろんなことを学んだ。

本当に人生って何が起こるか分からないよね。だからどんな時も精いっぱい生きてくことが大切だなって思ったよ。

いろんな人とこれから出会って、更に学ぶこと多いと思う。

いいことだといいけど、悪いことでも、いつかは大丈夫になるって、証明できたから、がんばれるよ。

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

MIHO & ME

2009-05-16T22:26:00.003+09:00

We're having the same part-time job in a cafe just 10 minutes from my house!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

Visiting the Yasukuni Temple

2009-05-16T21:39:00.006+09:00

The Yasukuni Temple has a long history.

Some people may not agree to it, but the place is very peaceful right now.

The temple is near the Emperor's Palace. The trees with the green leaves are actually Cherry Blossoms(SAKURA), it would be very beautiful in the Spring.

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

HOWDOIGOON

2009-05-11T13:44:00.001+09:00

是非教えてほしいもん。

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

The end of Golden Week

2009-05-05T16:46:00.005+09:00

Golden Week is ending tomorrow. I had so much fun unlike last year, when I was preparing for my entrance examination. I stayed at home to study.
But this year, I wasn't at home most of the time. It's not that I'm a bad girl or anything, and I'm not the kind of girl who likes to go out EVERYDAY. Well, I want to go out, but I couldn't. First, I have school, Second I'm too sleepy, Three I'm too tired. So going out on a stretch of holiday is always the best time. Not on weekdays. Too tiring.

So, what do you think I'll be doing on my last day of Golden Week?

I'm meeting my 3 best friends: KIMU,KANA,and MAMIKO.
It's been a LONG time since the 4 of us met. 久しぶり。

And I don't know how to say, and I don't want to say, and I don't want anything bad to happen, but tomorrow is a day I hope it won't rain, 明日本当に雨降らないといいな。もうそれしか怖くてお願いできない。Literally　I mean, I just hope it won't rain.

Wish me luck.

BTWBTWBTW!!!! Remember the movie THE LAND BEFORE TIME?? The movie Ryou & me loved to watch in the JB house. I found it on YOU TUBE. Go to :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C1gOZZJCTc&feature=PlayList&p=FB85F8B40B252F0E&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=23

ALSO, Have fun watching my VIDEOs:
http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

GOLDEN　WEEK

2009-04-30T14:03:00.004+09:00

Hi, everyone.

Golden week has just started. Well, it starts oficcially from this Saturday, but I have extra two more days of holiday, because my university said so. So, it's YIPPY!!!!!!
Golden week is a stretch of public holiday, so we call it Golden week. The tempreture in May is wonderful in Japan, although it's a little chilly at night.

Travellers come to Japan during end of March and the begging of April to watch the Sakura blooming, but May is the best weather in my opinion. I mean come on!!! Sakura is beautiful and pink, but it's still COLD!!! It's not nice to walk out there. (haha)

My plans on Golden week is GREAT. First, one of my BFF Sayaka would be here any minute now, she's suppose to be here at 2pm and it's already 14:09. Well, she's always late!!! (haha) We're doing nothing much but very fun. Girls like to chit-chat. And maybe we　will held a fashion show. You're all invited!!

Tomorrow I'm meeting my another BFF Kimiko. I'll be sleeping over.

Oops Sayaka's here. Gotta go!!! I'll write again. See you!!

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

身分

2009-04-28T23:31:00.003+09:00

てか思った。
ホテルバイト。ホテルウェイトレスって私の身分に合わない。
だって私だよ？！！客だろ。普通に考えて。

まじ人生甘くないね。ウェイトレスってなんだと思ってたんだろ。なんか笑ってればいいもんだと思ってた。なんかコーヒーだしてにこッ（＾▽＾）的な、そんなもんだと思ってた。

違う！！私は間違っていた。！！全然。楽じゃないし、トレー重いし、てかなんであたしが人の使った皿下げなきゃいけないわけ？理解不能。

いつも家族でいくようなホテル（あちこちに鏡があって、超ドレスアップして、いくようなとこ）なのに、なんであたし客じゃねーの？！みたいな。いや、てか客だろ。みたいな？
やば、言葉づかいまで荒くなってる（笑）

ありえなーい、やめたーい。てかやめるー。って思った矢先、朝家を出る時にオカンが言ってた言葉を思い出す。
『仕事はそんなに簡単にやめたりしていいものじゃないよ。本当の仕事はきついんだから、今我慢できなくてどうするの』ってね。
うちの親基本的にミユキンに仕事してほしくない派だからさ(わかるでしょ、うちの嫌、過保護っつーの？）、ミユキン独断で仕事してるわけだからさ、やめても別に私も親もこまらないけど、なぜか私の《バイトすぐやめたがる病》が心配になったのかね。、オカンは。

みゆき：だから、
バイトじゃなくて、社会勉強にしにいくことにした。
みゆき身分的に合わない。だから社会勉強。
あああ～みゆきにサービスしてくれる人、大変なんだ～。へ～。的な

勉強してくるわ。やめたくなってもしばらくはがんばるぴょん。目指せ、人の気持ちがわかる人！！！
ファイトー！！！応援よろしく、まじ身分下げてしまった自分が恥ずかしい。

なにいってんだか。バイトぐらいちゃんとやれよ、みゆき！！！！まったく。まじ私、私のこと知らない人がこれ読んだとしたら、くそ女に聞こえるんだろうね。笑

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

★注意★

2009-04-28T00:09:00.005+09:00

I know this thing on the Internet is really dangerous, especially me being so cute (hahaha,just a joke) , I'm afraid that someone bad might come and cut out my face and paste it on a naked woman's body and circulate it on the Internet or something!!!!!! And make me look like I'm posing nude or something. Which is something I really don't want it to happen.

And I don't want any of these happening to my family or friends on my YOU TUBE or BLOGGER. So please don't worry. If I'm having you're picture on my site, I'll always ask for permission. I love you.

I don't like the idea of someone bad selling a picture of my face pasted on a naked woman's body earning money. It's not fair. Well, that was just an example.

I fully respect each persons privacy, and I'll make sure no picture of anyone gets on the Internet system without the persons acknowledgement.

インターネットというシステムは、大変危険なものだと知っています。特に私がキュートだからって（笑、冗談）私の顔の写真を裸の女の上にペーストしてインターネット上に出回されたら、と恐ろしいです。まるで私がヌード写真をとってるかのようにされるのは、あってほしくないことです。

私の家族や友人に、このようなことが起きるのはとても嫌です。
心配しないでください。あなた方の写真をYOU TUBE やBLOGGERに、あなた方の許可なしには載せません。I love you.

悪いやつがわたしの顔をペーストしたヌード写真で儲けているという考えが不快です。ずるいじゃん。まあ、これはただの例だけど。

私は個人のプライバシーを尊重しています。そして本人の許可なくインターネット上に写真を載せることはいたしません。

以上。

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

these days.....................

2009-04-25T20:43:00.005+09:00

Wonder what I'm doing everyday??
I have classes everyday,of course,since I am a student.　hahaha
I usually end classes at 14:30,except on Mon and Fri which I end at 18:00.

I take almost 1 hour to school by train. MY STATION→ANOTHER　STATION(CHANGE TRAIN)→ And FINALLY I arrive at my university's station.

The classes I take are very interesting.
For example:
・American Politics
・European Studies
・Contemporary International Relationships
・Peace and Human Rights
・Academic English
・Nazis Study
・French.
These are the classes I'm taking. Sounds interesting right?
But I have so much homework, I have to schedule what I have to do everyday or not I won't be able to finish it. Whew. It's hard but I like it. I like the textbooks. It 's big and it looks smart. Hahaha.

I'm learning how to speak French. I'm serious about it. haha
I know how to say some simple phrases. My mom likes my　French. Papa too.
They are all very good to me. I love them so much.

After I come home, it's usually mom and me at home since it's still early, so sometimes we have tea break together. Then maybe I do some work or take a bath.
Then I'll have my dinner, and after my dinner I usually do some work again.

I love my school library. It's huge and clean. I'm always there between my classes. I borrow the books and read them in the train. I try to read the ones that relate to my studies so I don't have time to read GOSSIP GIRL. But I'll save GOSSIP GIRL for during my summer vacation maybe.

Oh and about my part-time job. (The song 'part-time lover' by Stevie Wonder is so nice.)
Ill be working as a tuition teacher On Tuesdays and Thursdays after school for 80 minutes. I found a better pay job in this very nice hotel just behind my school. Ill be working there too if I have time.

Well. That's all for today.
I have to go finish my report on 'GLOBALIZATION AND CULTURE'.

Do you think globalization has affected our lives?
If the world were not globalized i wouldn't be born. Of course it affected my life. What kind of stupid question is that?

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

理由

2009-04-25T19:30:00.003+09:00

このブログをなぜ作ったか：

①来年留学したらきっとみんなと頻繁に連絡は取れないだろうから、私のことを忘れないために作りました（笑）

②みんなばらばらだから私のこと忘れると思ったから。

③シンガポールにいる家族がきっと私の様子を知りたがっているだろうと思ったから。

④なるべくみつかりたくないから。なんかＰＲＩＶＡＴＥ＆ＣＯＮＦＩＤＥＮＴＩＡＬ　な場所がよかったのさ。よくわからない人に私の近況知られても困るし。だから知ってる人は知っている的なね。

⑤だって一年間留学するんだよ。みんな私のこと忘れんじゃん。

以上。

てか私、塾講のバイト火曜日・木曜日に１コマずつ入るらしい。ホテルのバイトもあるし！やばくね？ハードかね？？でも私学業とバイト以外は特に何もしないのに、これくらい両立出来ないとダメダメ人間だから、無理しないで頑張るね。私バイトが長続きできるといいな。

てかここ秘密情報（たとえば私のイケナイあんなことやこんなこと）載せたら、誰か知り合いにばれて読まれたら死ぬから慎重に生きるわ。笑
気をつけなきゃ。てへへ。デンジャラス・ガールだもんね。あぶねーあぶねー

http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

MY FRIENDS

2009-04-12T17:39:00.009+09:00

I miss my friends so much.
I can't simply call a friend 'FRIEND'　unless we've know each other very well and long enough.
So it's difficult for me to make friends. I'm not very good at it. I can be friendly, but it doesn't mean that I'm friends with them.

My friends were there during my most hardest time and i appreciate them for being there for me. I will never forget the time when they had teary eyes when I had mine. I will never forget the time we cried together.

They left me alone by just being there when I was not in the mood to talk. They helped me out when I was in trouble or either just being lazy. They worried when I was in a bad situation.

They were always there when I recall it now. I wonder if they know I thank them so much.

あの時もあの時もあんな時もいつも傍にいてくれてありがとう。

CHECK THIS OUT
↓↓↓↓↓
http://www.youtube.com/MIYUKImiyukin

JUST FOR YOU

iPhone

An Old Friend

life after part 2

life after

家后 song translation

When you're with me

I hope

Connected

MARCH SEVENTH

What about me what about you

Good Thing

こだわる理由

Spring Break

END OF FRESHMAN YEAR

RAW PORK

あと一カ月!!

2010あけましておめでとう

2009年12月29日

Merry Christmas 2009

iron

2009とは

Maybe.

One day

SMILE

2009 December

YIPPY!!!!

That's just not me

美女カレンダー

美女カレンダー

美女カレンダー

美女カレンダー

美女カレンダー

2009 October とか早くね??! もう十月終わりそう・・・。

A Present

something to be happy

鈴木

My friends

トルコ人パート２

ご

リッチなトルコ人

Summer

You're funny too and i miss you

夏休み

So many things

Yippy!!!

Im YOUNG & BEAUTIFUL

I miss you friends........

HOWDOIGOON

HOWDOIGOONAGAIN

Enjoying and Having Fun!!

with RIHO and KIMIKO

IMDOINGFINE

MIHO & ME

Visiting the Yasukuni Temple

HOWDOIGOON

The end of Golden Week

GOLDEN WEEK

身分

★注意★

these days.....................

理由

MY FRIENDS

2009 October　とか早くね??!　もう十月終わりそう・・・。

GOLDEN　WEEK